http://www.slate.com/id/2217608/
And now for something completely different. This story sucks. Come on, now, kidnapping kids so Americans can have their precious "rescued foreign babies"? And we're not even talking Madonna or Angelina Jolie here. Are we now appeasing white guilt by paying brown people to steal babies from other brown people so we can manufacture a smug & superior sense because we can't stand to see a perfectly healthy baby be "thrown away"?* Well of course they weren't going to throw away a healthy baby (except in China, where not having a penis is still considered a birth defect). But I need to feel progressive and better than foreigners some how. Here, let me pay white people to pay some brown people to do some awful, illegal stuff. The white guy with the nice teeth and dapper suit said it was ok so it must be ok. Well if those people would actually do such a thing as kidnapping for the small sum of 10x what the entire town makes in a year, then maybe this baby is better off with me.
* Echoing Spivak's pronuncment in "Can the Subaltern Speak?" of the colonial alibi that white men (and women) were saving brown women from brown men.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
30 Days of Write, 15 April
"Thunder! Thunder! Thunder! Thundercats! Ho!" shouted Lion-O, his once shrunken blade growing tumescent with each booming of his voice and contorted O-face. All across Third Earth, Thundercat heads snapped up to view the shining red and black beacon calling them to action like so many Batmen of Gotham City.
"Stupid, overgrown, red-headed teenage asshole," Cheetara, the only adult female and the fastest Thundercat, muttered under her breath as she raced on foot towards their leader. "I told him to quit calling me that. It was kind of cute the first time he did it in bed but now it's just insulting."
But Cheetara had to admit life wasn't too bad for her in Cat's Lair. She only had to entertain 3 adult men since the other occupants were incestuous twin adolescents and Lion-O's gay, hypochondriac anthropomorphic nursemaid cat-thing that kept repeating his name like a stupid Pokemon or something. Her girlfriend Smurfette, on the other hand, had it pretty rough. The two blondes had hit it off at the Ladies' Night mixer for the 80's Cartoon Nostalgia Reunion a few years back. That poor girl lived in a village with a hundred horny, one-dimensional pricks, all with a permanent case of blue balls, and she was the only available woman for a thousand miles. She wasn't quite sure what being smurfed in the smurf before they smurfed her meant but Cheetara was pretty sure it wasn't pleasant, especially 10 or more times a day.
Meanwhile Lion-O stood proudly with his fully aroused Eye of Thundera pointed lewdly at the intruder.
Prince Adam stared back at his feline confronter with a mixture of awe and mirth.
So he thinks he's the only one around here with a magic sword, does he? Ha ha!
Prince Adam unsheathed the Power Sword on his back and thrust it mightily into the air.
"By the power of Grayskull, I have the POWER!" chanted the disguised hero. A bolt of lightning struck the tip of his blade even though it had been a perfectly clear sky only moments before. This impressed Lion-O, as did the special effects whereby the image of a skull-faced medieval keep suddenly appeared behind the muscular blonde man. The costume transformation into nay but a loincloth and bandoleer, on the other hand, smacked of shoujo manga and seemed a tad over the top for the Thundercat's taste.
Way too Siegfried and Roy, he quietly commented. All he needs is a tiger to complete the act.
Their complete line of action figure companions (available at Wal-Mart, Target, and these other fine retailers) had yet to show as the two tanned, hypermasculine, scantily clad 'roid heads circled each other warily, naked blades bobbing to and fro. Then the two men charged, steel meeting steel...
Ok, I give up. I can't write any more of this slash fiction stuff ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Qd_IsxgAf8
"Stupid, overgrown, red-headed teenage asshole," Cheetara, the only adult female and the fastest Thundercat, muttered under her breath as she raced on foot towards their leader. "I told him to quit calling me that. It was kind of cute the first time he did it in bed but now it's just insulting."
But Cheetara had to admit life wasn't too bad for her in Cat's Lair. She only had to entertain 3 adult men since the other occupants were incestuous twin adolescents and Lion-O's gay, hypochondriac anthropomorphic nursemaid cat-thing that kept repeating his name like a stupid Pokemon or something. Her girlfriend Smurfette, on the other hand, had it pretty rough. The two blondes had hit it off at the Ladies' Night mixer for the 80's Cartoon Nostalgia Reunion a few years back. That poor girl lived in a village with a hundred horny, one-dimensional pricks, all with a permanent case of blue balls, and she was the only available woman for a thousand miles. She wasn't quite sure what being smurfed in the smurf before they smurfed her meant but Cheetara was pretty sure it wasn't pleasant, especially 10 or more times a day.
Meanwhile Lion-O stood proudly with his fully aroused Eye of Thundera pointed lewdly at the intruder.
Prince Adam stared back at his feline confronter with a mixture of awe and mirth.
So he thinks he's the only one around here with a magic sword, does he? Ha ha!
Prince Adam unsheathed the Power Sword on his back and thrust it mightily into the air.
"By the power of Grayskull, I have the POWER!" chanted the disguised hero. A bolt of lightning struck the tip of his blade even though it had been a perfectly clear sky only moments before. This impressed Lion-O, as did the special effects whereby the image of a skull-faced medieval keep suddenly appeared behind the muscular blonde man. The costume transformation into nay but a loincloth and bandoleer, on the other hand, smacked of shoujo manga and seemed a tad over the top for the Thundercat's taste.
Way too Siegfried and Roy, he quietly commented. All he needs is a tiger to complete the act.
Their complete line of action figure companions (available at Wal-Mart, Target, and these other fine retailers) had yet to show as the two tanned, hypermasculine, scantily clad 'roid heads circled each other warily, naked blades bobbing to and fro. Then the two men charged, steel meeting steel...
Ok, I give up. I can't write any more of this slash fiction stuff ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Qd_IsxgAf8
Monday, April 13, 2009
30 Days of Write, 13 April
Ok, I've got serious doubts at this point that I'll ever manage to catch up on these topics. I'll try to keep on top of things better (that's... what... she...) from here on in but that's no guarantee. I appreciate today's free writing assignment. Here's my commentary on a few things in the news to edu-ma-cate ya!
***
http://www.slate.com/id/2215823/
Best excuse for failing a drug test ever. 'nuff said.
***
http://www.slate.com/id/2215819/
The Decemberists are a lot like Clinic; you pretty much know what the new album is going to sound like if you own any of the previous. But this review doesn't fault the new The Hazards of Love for it's lack of musical experimentation so much as Colin Meloy's pretentiousness, "indie high-quirkiness," and flattery of English majors with its lyrics. To fault Colin for archaic syntax and $5 words is like asking why Morrissey always got to sing with that weird warble. Or wtf's up with KISS and the clown make-up after all these years. Or bitching that Scott Weiland won't stfu about his smack problem. Some things simply come to define an artist or a band. This article may not have been so irritating if it had been just a little bit funnier. 'Cuz you know what? Colin Meloy is a pretentious jerk but I wouldn't want to hear a Decemberists' album recorded any other way.
***
http://www.newsweek.com/id/193370
The article itself does a decent job of striking a balance between reporting the facts for both sides of the "shootin' dem der evil wolfs from this here whirlybird shoor is a rootin' tootin' good time, ya know" story until the end, where Amanda Coyne lets her politics slip in to ask who will be on the airwaves bashing Palin next year for her enthusiastic, unmitigated support for culling Alaska's wolf population. You know who will? I hope every body.
The wholesale slaughter of a predatory species to protect wild populations of moose and caribou is troubling for a whole host of reasons:
*questionable ethics of "managing" wild populations in the first place
* true goal of the program is unclear (maintain wild food supplies or turn Alaska into a hunter's paradise)
*poor scientific evidence establishes the basic premises of the program (too many wolves, wolves responsible for recent prey species population declines, etc.).
What the article also fails to explore and should be of immense concern is how the lack of natural predators will adversely affect moose and caribou populations and thus Alaska's ecological balance in the long term. But what else can you expect from a candidate who "knows" global warming is a sham since God promised never to destroy the world by flood again in Genesis (love me some rainbows) and literally prays for global conflict to usher in the Rapture?
Please oh please let the Grand Ol' Potatoheads put this crazy woman at the top of 2012 ticket. We need another easy win.
***
And to wrap up, an older story, but nonetheless interesting...
http://www.newsweek.com/id/84531
It's always a problem when non-industry folk report on comics for the mainstream media. The author focuses almost exclusively on the novelty of two women (popular novelist Jodi Picoult and prolific comic scribe Gail Simone) recently taking up the creative reins of DC Comics' Wonder Woman. Upon reading this article, one gets very little sense of the true subversiveness and sexual deviancy lying at the heart of Wonder Woman's origins. Here's a quick primer:
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=7921
You got to love the CCA. Lurid murder and monster stories are verboten at this time but not-so-subtle scenes of BDSM skate right through when dressed up in super hero tights (or in this case a red and gold bustier). A golden lasso to tie you up and then some light spanking? Does anyone know if a drug test can find trace amounts of super heroin(e) in your system?
***
Until tomorrow, good night my good readers...
(Edited to make the final joke clearer)
***
http://www.slate.com/id/2215823/
Best excuse for failing a drug test ever. 'nuff said.
***
http://www.slate.com/id/2215819/
The Decemberists are a lot like Clinic; you pretty much know what the new album is going to sound like if you own any of the previous. But this review doesn't fault the new The Hazards of Love for it's lack of musical experimentation so much as Colin Meloy's pretentiousness, "indie high-quirkiness," and flattery of English majors with its lyrics. To fault Colin for archaic syntax and $5 words is like asking why Morrissey always got to sing with that weird warble. Or wtf's up with KISS and the clown make-up after all these years. Or bitching that Scott Weiland won't stfu about his smack problem. Some things simply come to define an artist or a band. This article may not have been so irritating if it had been just a little bit funnier. 'Cuz you know what? Colin Meloy is a pretentious jerk but I wouldn't want to hear a Decemberists' album recorded any other way.
***
http://www.newsweek.com/id/193370
The article itself does a decent job of striking a balance between reporting the facts for both sides of the "shootin' dem der evil wolfs from this here whirlybird shoor is a rootin' tootin' good time, ya know" story until the end, where Amanda Coyne lets her politics slip in to ask who will be on the airwaves bashing Palin next year for her enthusiastic, unmitigated support for culling Alaska's wolf population. You know who will? I hope every body.
The wholesale slaughter of a predatory species to protect wild populations of moose and caribou is troubling for a whole host of reasons:
*questionable ethics of "managing" wild populations in the first place
* true goal of the program is unclear (maintain wild food supplies or turn Alaska into a hunter's paradise)
*poor scientific evidence establishes the basic premises of the program (too many wolves, wolves responsible for recent prey species population declines, etc.).
What the article also fails to explore and should be of immense concern is how the lack of natural predators will adversely affect moose and caribou populations and thus Alaska's ecological balance in the long term. But what else can you expect from a candidate who "knows" global warming is a sham since God promised never to destroy the world by flood again in Genesis (love me some rainbows) and literally prays for global conflict to usher in the Rapture?
Please oh please let the Grand Ol' Potatoheads put this crazy woman at the top of 2012 ticket. We need another easy win.
***
And to wrap up, an older story, but nonetheless interesting...
http://www.newsweek.com/id/84531
It's always a problem when non-industry folk report on comics for the mainstream media. The author focuses almost exclusively on the novelty of two women (popular novelist Jodi Picoult and prolific comic scribe Gail Simone) recently taking up the creative reins of DC Comics' Wonder Woman. Upon reading this article, one gets very little sense of the true subversiveness and sexual deviancy lying at the heart of Wonder Woman's origins. Here's a quick primer:
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=7921
You got to love the CCA. Lurid murder and monster stories are verboten at this time but not-so-subtle scenes of BDSM skate right through when dressed up in super hero tights (or in this case a red and gold bustier). A golden lasso to tie you up and then some light spanking? Does anyone know if a drug test can find trace amounts of super heroin(e) in your system?
***
Until tomorrow, good night my good readers...
(Edited to make the final joke clearer)
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