Sunday, April 5, 2009

30 Days of Write, 5 April

First, a few confessions about saving the world in 4 minutes.

One, I never heard this song until our good mistress posted the link. I was only barely cognizant that JT and Madonna had even collaborated. But you can certainly ask me my opinion on the Bon Iver EP. Bother me again in 16 days and I'll let you know how the full "My Maudlin Career" record sounds.

Two, I'm glad I'm not the only one with a dirty mind. My thoughts immediately lept to that classic Steve Martin bit on SNL about his "one christmas wish" when I read today's topic. For those of you unaware of the skit, here's a link. Watch it now and remember when SNL used to make you laugh. Ah, those were the good ol' days.

Then I watched the clip tipsy posted and realized JT and Madonna were making the same juvenile sex joke I was, just with better bodies, in better clothes, with better dance moves, and making a hell of a lot more money at it than little old me. But at least our minds pay rent for the same gutter, and that's got to count for something, right?

Three, I'm willing to share that extended 31 day orgasm wish with everybody in the world if there are any beneficent imaginary wish-granters listening. Hell, I'd settle for 4 minutes a day every day for the entire year. (See how I connected it back to the topic? Clever, huh?) That's giving up 43 180 minutes of fun time per year, but I'm not a selfish lover.

So let's recap. Haven't listened to Madonna since SNL was funny. Famous people are perverts just like you and me, they just look better when getting their freak on. And spontaneous, 4 minutes orgasms every day would grind wars across the globe to a halt since we know men roll right over and fall asleep after they come.

And that's how I would save the world in 4 minutes.

PS Did you know Milo Ventimiglia and Hayden Panettiere hooked up? Does this on screen uncle-niece, off screen romantic couple thing creep anybody else out? Who do the Petrellis think they are, a super powered Brady Bunch? I don't think that's what Hiro meant when he told you to save the cheerleader, save the world, Peter.

(If you don't get that joke, either you're too young or I'm too old. I concede that I watch waaaay too much TV.)


  1. Brilliant - The Palestinians and Israelis fighting, stopping, simultaneously orgasming, and going to sleep. Great visual image!

    I do believe that this would give women a much greater role in combat for this exact reason.

  2. Loved this post. Perfect length and perfect amount of funny.

    And yeah, I think the Army would have a much easier time at recruiting if this were their strategy.

  3. Here is my rifle
    Here is my gun
    This one's for fighting
    This one's for fun