Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Economic recovery diagnosed with March Madness, expected casualties 63

Originally published in Facebook Notes on 19 March 2009


It's that time of year again. The flowers are blossoming, the birds are returning, and a young boy's fancy turns to thoughts of how well 10 men can handle their balls for 40 minutes. You have to be extra furtive when checking the brackets this year; with the economy slumping and so much coverage available on the web, you don't want to be the fellow who wins the office pool and a trip to the unemployment line all in the same week. But reports of major productivity declines due to the NCAA tourney are just bunk.

Let's face it, if you and I weren't stealing away to see check on the scoreboards and reading up on scouting reports, we'd be wasting work hours doing something else equally useless like going for the high score on Scramble or complaining about what a douche Simon Cowell was last night. Work sucks. It's tedious. Companies know this and expect a certain amount of listlessness on the clock. But some a-holes, let's call them the Bobs, make a buck every year shopping around this nonsense that college hoops costs our nation billions (with a B) of dollars of each year in lost productivity. I didn't check any scores until I got home this afternoon but guess what, I wasted enough time to read this article and a couple of others, too.

So enjoy your NCAA tourney this year and let's lay the blame for the recession on those who are truly resposible: those AIG a-holes who got paid their contractually-obligated bonuses ;)



However, I do care (a little. Don't let that get out. Everything thinks I'm an a-hole, too) about the economy. Here's a handy little tool to know when it's safe to turn off the tv, close your browser, and pretend like you're working again because the game is a lock.

Note: there is no Reggie Miller exception.

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